The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be great too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which great post to read acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, closeness, and love .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in metropolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

However, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there check my reference or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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