The Sensuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful sensations of destination, excitement, well-being, closeness, and love .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They see this page probably wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cities, sex is readily Homepage offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay men want to discover out from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) learn this here now with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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