The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

However when problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that much of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. check it out If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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