The Sexuality Lure, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and closeness .

However when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical webpage compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there More about the author for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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